The Art of Choosing Your Battles
"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw
For many of us, we were the “expert” before we were thrust into a leadership role. This reality lends itself to allowing our ego to take over, and we can assume our answers are the best and right ones every time. While it may be true that we may have a better way to accomplish tasks and guide teams, the above quote, often used in everyday life, holds a profound lesson for leaders. We work in environments where complex personalities, conflicting agendas, and high stakes are the norm. Understanding these as a backdrop, the wisdom from George Bernard Shaw is not just relevant—it's essential. Effective leaders understand that not every disagreement, conflict, or challenge deserves their direct involvement. We need to take a moment to recognize that choosing our battles wisely is crucial for maintaining focus, preserving energy, maintaining relationships, building trust, and achieving long-term objectives.
The Futility of Unnecessary Conflict
The urge to engage in every dispute can be strong. We are often passionate about our vision and committed to the team's success. However, involving ourselves in every minor squabble or unproductive argument will end with several negative consequences. It consumes time and energy, diverting critical focus from more strategic priorities. It also fosters a culture of negativity and resentment, damaging trust and team morale, and hindering collaboration. This serves to diminish our credibility and influence, as we will become perceived as someone who is easily drawn into petty conflicts.
The Importance of Discernment
So, how do we determine which battles to fight and which to avoid? The key lies in discernment—the ability to judge wisely and objectively which situations require attention and which do not. Take key considerations into mind:
The Significance of the Issue: Strive to keep the “big picture” in mind. How important is the issue in the grand scheme? Will it have a significant impact on the team's goals or the organization's success? If it is a minor or trivial issue, it's often best to let it resolve itself or delegate it to someone else.
The Potential for Resolution: Is the conflict resolvable? Are the parties involved willing to find a solution, or are they more interested in proving their point (see post about being right vs. accurate)? If the situation appears intractable, direct involvement may be unproductive and even counterproductive.
The Impact on Relationships: What will be the impact of the conflict on the relationships between and among team members? Will our intervention help to mend fences or further exacerbate the situation? Often, allowing, coaching, and encouraging individuals to work through their differences independently can lead to stronger, more resilient relationships.
The Leader's Time and Energy: What is the opportunity cost of getting involved? Could our time and energy be better spent on other, more strategic priorities? We must be mindful of our capacity and avoid spreading ourselves too thin.
The Art of Strategic Engagement
Choosing not to engage in every conflict does not mean we are passive or indifferent. On the contrary, it displays a more nuanced and strategic approach. Instead of diving headfirst into every dispute, leaders should focus on creating a healthy and productive environment where conflicts are used as a tool to work through issues and are resolved effectively. This can involve:
Setting Clear Expectations: It is necessary to establish and hold fast to clear guidelines and expectations for communication and conflict resolution. This will help prevent unnecessary disputes.
Empowering Others: Equipping subordinates with the skills and resources needed to resolve conflicts independently can free up a leader's time and foster a sense of ownership and accountability.
Leading by Example: By demonstrating patience, empathy, and respect in our interactions, we get to set a positive tone for the entire team.
Focusing on the Big Picture: Keeping the team focused on its shared goals and values can help to minimize the importance of petty conflicts and encourage collaboration.
Often, there are parallels between parenting and leadership. In this case, those in our care will pick up on our behaviors and example as much as by what we coach, foster, and talk about. By mastering the art of choosing battles, we can create a more productive, harmonious, and successful work environment. This is important in the preservation of our energy and focus, empowering our team members to grow and develop, and dedicating our time to the initiatives that help support the overall company goals and vision. In the long run, this strategic approach will lead us to greater influence, stronger relationships, and more significant achievements.
