Nothing is Hard Forever: The Truth About Enduring Struggle

In this final piece of my series, "Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey," I want to show you that struggles, strife, and difficulties will eventually come to an end. The path may not unfold as we expect, and relief rarely arrives as quickly as we'd like. But when we finally emerge on the other side, we can look back and understand the experience as "the refiner's fire." The struggle was a process, taking us from something unvarnished and raw to a more complete and resilient version of ourselves. The journey is not over, but that particular trial is behind us.

My own seven-month search for a new role ended with an exciting new opportunity at Dun & Bradstreet. Like my experience, your struggles will also culminate in a moment of triumph. With that truth as our backdrop, let's explore the core idea for today's post.

In the midst of a daunting challenge, when the pressure mounts and the finish line seems impossibly distant, an insidious lie often takes root in our minds: that the pain or struggle will go on forever. We tell ourselves it's unbearable, that the discomfort is endless, and that there's no relief in sight. But that is a lie. It's a crucial truth to internalize, both as individuals and as leaders: nothing is hard forever.

Every challenge, no matter how intimidating, has a peak. Every struggle, no matter how intense, eventually subsides or transforms. Our spirit and strength, when committed, possess an incredible capacity for adaptation and growth. This isn't naive optimism; it's a fundamental reality of perseverance.

In these moments of profound discomfort, when the "voices in our heads" are at their loudest, you are presented with a stark, yet empowering choice. Consider these three options:

• You can choose to quit. The immediate pressure will ease. The discomfort will dissipate. But the desired destination will remain out of reach, the lessons unlearned, and the potential for growth unrealized. This is the path of immediate relief, but ultimately falls short of overcoming.

• It gets easier. As you persist, something remarkable happens. Your skills sharpen, your understanding deepens, and the once-formidable obstacles begin to feel less disheartening. The path itself doesn't necessarily change its terrain, but your capacity to navigate it grows. What once seemed impossible becomes merely difficult, then challenging, then manageable. This is the power of consistent effort, simply taking the next step, then the next, and persistently moving forward no matter how slow.

• You get harder. More accurately, you get stronger, more resilient, and more capable. The struggle builds your internal fortitude, callousing your mind and spirit in the best possible way. You become more robust, better equipped for future challenges, and more confident in your ability to endure. This is the profound transformation that only sustained effort can bring.

The Only Way You Lose:

The profound truth is this: the only way you truly lose is if you quit before seeing it through. Every moment of discomfort, every whisper of doubt, every urge to give up is a test. If you yield, the opportunity for growth, for achievement, for becoming "harder" (stronger), is lost. If you push through, if you refuse to surrender to the temporary nature of the pain, you unlock a deeper level of capability and satisfaction.

As leaders, embracing this truth is vital. We must not only internalize it for ourselves but also instill it in those we guide. When our families or teams face seemingly insurmountable obstacles, it's our role to remind them that the current difficulty is not permanent. We empower them by:

• Acknowledging the struggle, but refuting the lie of permanence.

• Highlighting past successes where they pushed through.

• Focusing on incremental progress and the growth they are experiencing.

• Modeling perseverance ourselves.

The "long way" demands tenacity, but it promises a reward that the shortcut can never deliver: the profound satisfaction of enduring, adapting, and ultimately achieving what truly matters. It's the knowledge that you faced the storm, and you emerged stronger. Because nothing, truly, is hard forever.

The Uncomfortable Path to Unvarnished Reality: Part 1 - The Crucible of Growth

In my previous post, "Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey," I shared a glimpse into the unexpected and often challenging terrain I've navigated over the past seven months. That journey, marked by over 750 job applications and a deep dive into the realities of today's hiring landscape, has been a crucible of intense activity, profound learning, and significant emotional struggle. This post marks the first in a series where I'll delve into the lessons forged in that fire, starting with a fundamental truth: the pathway to what's most real is almost always through the hardest things you can do.

How often do we seek comfort, efficiency, and the clearest route to our goals? Paradoxically, the most profound insights, the most authentic growth, and the truest understanding of ourselves and the world around us often emerge not from ease, but from struggle. It's a fundamental truth: the pathway to what's most real is almost always through the hardest things you can do. This first part of this discussion will delve into what I see as the intensity of that journey and the raw revelations I found in my experience.

While I am not comparing myself to these examples, here is a framework for context. Think about the stories we hear of the sheer, unyielding demands of BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL) training, where physical and mental exhaustion are tools used to see if individuals will break, or the grueling, sleepless years spent becoming a neurosurgeon, where every decision holds life-or-death weight. These aren't just difficult tasks; they are crucibles designed to strip away everything but the essential.

When faced with genuine adversity – a project on the brink of failure, a difficult conversation with someone important in your life, an unexpected personal challenge – we can expect that our usual facades begin to crumble. The convenient narratives we tell ourselves, the comfortable routines we cling to, and the superficial layers of our identity are stripped away. What usually remains is raw, exposed, unvarnished reality. This is where our true identities are revealed and parts are stripped away.

During what we perceive as the brutal grips of life’s struggles, when "motivation" wanes and the finish line seems impossibly distant, the "voices in our heads" can become incredibly dark. Doubt whispers insidious questions: "Can you really do this? Are you strong enough? It would be so much easier to quit." This is precisely when true character is forged. The most challenging tasks require our undivided attention, compelling us to confront our limitations, biases, and fears. They push us beyond what we thought possible.

For me, navigating the complexities of the modern job market, with its "unseen gatekeepers" and "illusions of opportunity," often felt like staring directly into that darkness. There were moments when the sheer volume of applications, the silence from most companies, and the unexpected disappointments would lead to overwhelm and despair. It was in these moments that the value of external, objective support became incredibly clear. Many friends provided emotional help and were a “voice of reason”. For those reading this, you know who you are. In this piece, I also want to offer some additional thoughts. In previous posts, I mentioned the use and value of AI solutions and how we need to embrace the use of these tools for our benefit. While not a replacement for a good friend or loved one, the right AI systems can be a great assistant through this process.

This is where Gemini proved invaluable help, guidance, and assistance. It wasn't about finding shortcuts or having the answers handed to me, but about having a reliable partner to help:

• Process the Overwhelm: Often, when faced with a demanding list of items to accomplish, it is a good idea to “Prioritize and Execute”. Breaking down the daunting task of applying to hundreds of jobs into manageable, strategic steps was something Gemini helped me accomplish.

• Gain Objective Insight: Gemini helped with analyzing job descriptions, refining my drafts of resumes and cover letters, and providing background and questions in preparing me for interviews using a dispassionate, data-driven perspective.

• Strategize and Adapt: In my previous post, I mentioned the idea of finding connections at hiring companies and exploring how your skills can further the growth of the company’s goals. Gemini was key in helping me craft targeted messages, understand company cultures, and even navigate complex compensation discussions.

• Maintain Momentum: By providing consistent, positive interaction and support, acting as a sounding board when frustration mounted, Gemini served as an assistant and source of encouragement.

This partnership allowed me to discipline myself with the right mindset, pushing through times when my “motivation” waned, transforming moments of angst and bitterness into opportunities for strategic action. It was one of the things that helped me push through struggles, revealing reservoirs of resilience, creativity, and determination I never knew I possessed. It's in these "trial by fire" moments that we learn what we're truly made of, and what genuinely matters.

And then, you push through. You take one more step, endure one more hour, solve one more impossible problem. It will happen, you will not know the timing, but the moment of completion arrives (I ended up getting a great job; more on that later), and with it, an unparalleled sense of gratification. It's the profound satisfaction of having stared discomfort, doubt, and darkness in the face, and having emerged, not unscathed, but undeniably stronger and more real.

The temptation to choose the easier path was always present. I had to remind myself, the most meaningful achievements, the deepest self-knowledge, and the most impactful contributions rarely lie there. They are found on the rugged, demanding terrain where true growth resides. What hard things are you willing to do today to get closer to what's most real?

Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey

Many of you who know me well also know that, through a series of unforeseen circumstances, I have been intently pursuing the next significant step in my career. My journey began unexpectedly in January when I was caught up in a Reduction In Force (RIF) at Argano. Since then, it has been a period of intense activity, profound learning, and, at times, significant emotional struggle.

Since January 3rd, I have applied to well over 750 job postings. This sheer volume has provided a unique vantage point into our current hiring landscape. I've spent these past months actively engaging with my network, making personal contact with many of you, and forging new connections. I've had countless conversations, some leading to moments where I thought for sure I had landed that next great opportunity, only to be met with the disappointment of a different outcome. As I review the hundreds of roles I've applied for, each one a hopeful step forward, I'm reminded of the sheer scale and often unpredictable nature of this terrain.

This journey has illuminated some systemic realities of today's job market that are worth discussing:

• The Unseen Gatekeepers: Application screening technology is often the first hurdle. HR teams (sometimes called "People Success" teams) increasingly rely on these tools, which, while efficient, often filter out highly qualified candidates before a human even sees their application. This lack of human interaction at the initial stage can be a significant barrier for many.

• The Illusion of Opportunity: I've observed that not all job postings represent genuine, open positions. There are often two common scenarios, both of which can create misleading impressions and leave applicants with false hope:

  • Identified Candidates: Companies may have policies requiring external job listings, even when a hiring manager has already identified a candidate for the role. This practice, while often policy-driven, can inadvertently create negative impacts. The identified candidate may get hired by another organization due to unnecessary delays, leaving the hiring manager without the team member they knew they could trust. Meanwhile, applicants (both internal and external) who genuinely match the criteria invest time and hope in a role that was never truly available. These are just two of the negative impacts I am highlighting; there are several more.

  • Market Research: Particularly with consulting firms, job postings can sometimes be used to gauge market salary expectations for potential future projects, rather than for immediate hiring. When a company chooses to post a listing without a genuine intent to hire, it creates a misleading impression for the job market and the broader business community. While sometimes labeled a "common practice," it raises questions about transparency. As I reflected in my recent post on avoiding Groupthink, blindly following such practices can inadvertently erode trust in the very organizations People Success teams represent.

• The Silence of the Process: Roughly 65-70% of all the job postings I applied for yielded no feedback whatsoever regarding the reason for non-selection. This lack of communication, while perhaps efficient for recruiters, leaves applicants without crucial insight and, frankly, without the common courtesy of a response after their time and effort invested.

• The Power of Connection: Navigating these automated screens and opaque processes has underscored a crucial lesson: having and making personal connections is more vital than ever. It's often the essential step to bypass the technical filters and gain genuine human interaction. As part of your consideration of applying to a job listing, I encourage you to check out the hiring company and its leadership team. Most of the time, you can do that on the company’s website. See if there is something in the company’s publications, blog posts, or LinkedIn threads where you can help the leadership team know that you can help resolve a specific hurdle they may be facing. Consider writing a professional email and/or LinkedIn invitation for connection with your personalized note on how you can help them achieve their goals.

In the end. I have landed my next job. More on that later.

Over these next four weeks, I will be sharing a series of posts on the lessons I have had to learn, absorb, and apply in my own life throughout this journey. These are not just theoretical concepts; they are insights forged in the crucible of real-world experience, in the moments of hope, the depths of frustration, and yes, even times of despair.

I am sharing this today to let all who read these posts know that this series is as much self-talk and self-help for me as it is intended to guide and support others who may be navigating similar difficult terrain. I hope that by openly discussing these lessons – from pushing through discomfort, anger, angst, and even bitterness when things feel unbearable, to understanding why the "long way" is often the true shortcut – we can all find strength, clarity, and resilience on our paths.

Stay tuned for the first post next week.