Nothing is Hard Forever: The Truth About Enduring Struggle

In this final piece of my series, "Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey," I want to show you that struggles, strife, and difficulties will eventually come to an end. The path may not unfold as we expect, and relief rarely arrives as quickly as we'd like. But when we finally emerge on the other side, we can look back and understand the experience as "the refiner's fire." The struggle was a process, taking us from something unvarnished and raw to a more complete and resilient version of ourselves. The journey is not over, but that particular trial is behind us.

My own seven-month search for a new role ended with an exciting new opportunity at Dun & Bradstreet. Like my experience, your struggles will also culminate in a moment of triumph. With that truth as our backdrop, let's explore the core idea for today's post.

In the midst of a daunting challenge, when the pressure mounts and the finish line seems impossibly distant, an insidious lie often takes root in our minds: that the pain or struggle will go on forever. We tell ourselves it's unbearable, that the discomfort is endless, and that there's no relief in sight. But that is a lie. It's a crucial truth to internalize, both as individuals and as leaders: nothing is hard forever.

Every challenge, no matter how intimidating, has a peak. Every struggle, no matter how intense, eventually subsides or transforms. Our spirit and strength, when committed, possess an incredible capacity for adaptation and growth. This isn't naive optimism; it's a fundamental reality of perseverance.

In these moments of profound discomfort, when the "voices in our heads" are at their loudest, you are presented with a stark, yet empowering choice. Consider these three options:

• You can choose to quit. The immediate pressure will ease. The discomfort will dissipate. But the desired destination will remain out of reach, the lessons unlearned, and the potential for growth unrealized. This is the path of immediate relief, but ultimately falls short of overcoming.

• It gets easier. As you persist, something remarkable happens. Your skills sharpen, your understanding deepens, and the once-formidable obstacles begin to feel less disheartening. The path itself doesn't necessarily change its terrain, but your capacity to navigate it grows. What once seemed impossible becomes merely difficult, then challenging, then manageable. This is the power of consistent effort, simply taking the next step, then the next, and persistently moving forward no matter how slow.

• You get harder. More accurately, you get stronger, more resilient, and more capable. The struggle builds your internal fortitude, callousing your mind and spirit in the best possible way. You become more robust, better equipped for future challenges, and more confident in your ability to endure. This is the profound transformation that only sustained effort can bring.

The Only Way You Lose:

The profound truth is this: the only way you truly lose is if you quit before seeing it through. Every moment of discomfort, every whisper of doubt, every urge to give up is a test. If you yield, the opportunity for growth, for achievement, for becoming "harder" (stronger), is lost. If you push through, if you refuse to surrender to the temporary nature of the pain, you unlock a deeper level of capability and satisfaction.

As leaders, embracing this truth is vital. We must not only internalize it for ourselves but also instill it in those we guide. When our families or teams face seemingly insurmountable obstacles, it's our role to remind them that the current difficulty is not permanent. We empower them by:

• Acknowledging the struggle, but refuting the lie of permanence.

• Highlighting past successes where they pushed through.

• Focusing on incremental progress and the growth they are experiencing.

• Modeling perseverance ourselves.

The "long way" demands tenacity, but it promises a reward that the shortcut can never deliver: the profound satisfaction of enduring, adapting, and ultimately achieving what truly matters. It's the knowledge that you faced the storm, and you emerged stronger. Because nothing, truly, is hard forever.

The Long Way is the Shortcut: Why True Progress Requires Patience

In my ongoing series, "Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey," I continue with the lessons learned from my experience. We've explored the initial shock of the job search, the crucible of growth found in adversity, and the enduring impact of that experience. Now, we turn our attention to a powerful truth that often runs counter to popular culture: the long way is the shortcut, because the shortcut never gets you there.

This statement reveals a profound wisdom: genuine, sustainable success and deep, meaningful impact are rarely achieved through expediency. Shortcuts, by their very nature, bypass the essential processes of learning, building, and refining. They might offer temporary gains, but they inevitably lead to superficial results, missed foundational lessons, and ultimately, a failure to reach the desired destination or to sustain it if reached.

Consider this principle across various facets of life and leadership:

• In Your Career and Work: The "shortcut" might tempt you to cut corners on a project, avoid difficult feedback, or seek a rapid promotion without truly mastering your current role. The "long way" involves meticulously developing skills, building genuine relationships, taking ownership of mistakes, and consistently delivering high-quality work. While the latter might seem slower, it builds a robust foundation of competence and trust that leads to lasting career progression and meaningful impact. The shortcut, in contrast, often leads to exposure, burnout, or stagnation.

• In Family and Friendships: In relationships, you might desire to avoid honest conversations, neglect consistent effort, or seek immediate gratification without investing in mutual understanding and support. This can manifest in a desire to "win" an argument, teaching yourself that you are in a relationship where there must be both a “winner” and a "loser." The "long way" is showing up consistently, practicing active listening, offering unconditional support, and honestly navigating conflicts with patience and empathy. This deliberate effort builds unbreakable bonds and deep trust that no quick fix can replicate.

• In Community Building: Here, "community" refers to the group of people with whom you share life experiences. Here, a "shortcut" impact might involve grand, superficial gestures and promises without genuine engagement, or implementing solutions without understanding root causes and downstream effects. The "long way" means patiently listening to the needs of those in your care, building consensus where reasonable, fostering buy-in for initiatives, and showing commitment to sustained effort over years, even decades. This slower, more deliberate approach creates a truly resilient and empowered cohort.

• In Personal Growth: You might be seeking quick self-help fads or avoiding introspection. It could also be the use of anabolic steroids to quicken visible muscle gain. The "long way" is the disciplined practice of self-awareness, confronting uncomfortable truths, consistently working on your weaknesses, and embracing continuous learning and persistent work. This arduous journey leads to genuine character development and a profound understanding of self.

Why the Long Way is the True Shortcut

The "long way" is the shortcut because it:

• Builds Foundational Strength: It ensures you acquire the necessary skills, knowledge, tenacity, and character traits that are indispensable for sustained success.

• Cultivates Resilience: Navigating challenges, the "long way" develops the grit and adaptability needed to overcome inevitable future obstacles.

• Fosters Authenticity and Trust: People recognize and value genuine effort and integrity. The long way builds credibility that shortcuts can never achieve.

• Leads to Deeper Understanding: True mastery comes from grappling with complexities, not from skimming the surface.

• Ensures Sustainability: What is built slowly and deliberately tends to last. Shortcuts often lead to fragile structures that collapse under pressure.

As leaders, it is our responsibility to embody this principle and instill it in those we care for and lead. We must resist the pervasive cultural pressure for instant gratification and instead champion the value of diligent, patient, and thorough work. By embracing the "long way," we not only achieve our goals more effectively but also build stronger teams, deeper relationships, and a more resilient foundation for future success. It is the only path that truly gets us there.

Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey

Many of you who know me well also know that, through a series of unforeseen circumstances, I have been intently pursuing the next significant step in my career. My journey began unexpectedly in January when I was caught up in a Reduction In Force (RIF) at Argano. Since then, it has been a period of intense activity, profound learning, and, at times, significant emotional struggle.

Since January 3rd, I have applied to well over 750 job postings. This sheer volume has provided a unique vantage point into our current hiring landscape. I've spent these past months actively engaging with my network, making personal contact with many of you, and forging new connections. I've had countless conversations, some leading to moments where I thought for sure I had landed that next great opportunity, only to be met with the disappointment of a different outcome. As I review the hundreds of roles I've applied for, each one a hopeful step forward, I'm reminded of the sheer scale and often unpredictable nature of this terrain.

This journey has illuminated some systemic realities of today's job market that are worth discussing:

• The Unseen Gatekeepers: Application screening technology is often the first hurdle. HR teams (sometimes called "People Success" teams) increasingly rely on these tools, which, while efficient, often filter out highly qualified candidates before a human even sees their application. This lack of human interaction at the initial stage can be a significant barrier for many.

• The Illusion of Opportunity: I've observed that not all job postings represent genuine, open positions. There are often two common scenarios, both of which can create misleading impressions and leave applicants with false hope:

  • Identified Candidates: Companies may have policies requiring external job listings, even when a hiring manager has already identified a candidate for the role. This practice, while often policy-driven, can inadvertently create negative impacts. The identified candidate may get hired by another organization due to unnecessary delays, leaving the hiring manager without the team member they knew they could trust. Meanwhile, applicants (both internal and external) who genuinely match the criteria invest time and hope in a role that was never truly available. These are just two of the negative impacts I am highlighting; there are several more.

  • Market Research: Particularly with consulting firms, job postings can sometimes be used to gauge market salary expectations for potential future projects, rather than for immediate hiring. When a company chooses to post a listing without a genuine intent to hire, it creates a misleading impression for the job market and the broader business community. While sometimes labeled a "common practice," it raises questions about transparency. As I reflected in my recent post on avoiding Groupthink, blindly following such practices can inadvertently erode trust in the very organizations People Success teams represent.

• The Silence of the Process: Roughly 65-70% of all the job postings I applied for yielded no feedback whatsoever regarding the reason for non-selection. This lack of communication, while perhaps efficient for recruiters, leaves applicants without crucial insight and, frankly, without the common courtesy of a response after their time and effort invested.

• The Power of Connection: Navigating these automated screens and opaque processes has underscored a crucial lesson: having and making personal connections is more vital than ever. It's often the essential step to bypass the technical filters and gain genuine human interaction. As part of your consideration of applying to a job listing, I encourage you to check out the hiring company and its leadership team. Most of the time, you can do that on the company’s website. See if there is something in the company’s publications, blog posts, or LinkedIn threads where you can help the leadership team know that you can help resolve a specific hurdle they may be facing. Consider writing a professional email and/or LinkedIn invitation for connection with your personalized note on how you can help them achieve their goals.

In the end. I have landed my next job. More on that later.

Over these next four weeks, I will be sharing a series of posts on the lessons I have had to learn, absorb, and apply in my own life throughout this journey. These are not just theoretical concepts; they are insights forged in the crucible of real-world experience, in the moments of hope, the depths of frustration, and yes, even times of despair.

I am sharing this today to let all who read these posts know that this series is as much self-talk and self-help for me as it is intended to guide and support others who may be navigating similar difficult terrain. I hope that by openly discussing these lessons – from pushing through discomfort, anger, angst, and even bitterness when things feel unbearable, to understanding why the "long way" is often the true shortcut – we can all find strength, clarity, and resilience on our paths.

Stay tuned for the first post next week.