The Uncomfortable Path to Unvarnished Reality: Part 1 - The Crucible of Growth

In my previous post, "Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey," I shared a glimpse into the unexpected and often challenging terrain I've navigated over the past seven months. That journey, marked by over 750 job applications and a deep dive into the realities of today's hiring landscape, has been a crucible of intense activity, profound learning, and significant emotional struggle. This post marks the first in a series where I'll delve into the lessons forged in that fire, starting with a fundamental truth: the pathway to what's most real is almost always through the hardest things you can do.

How often do we seek comfort, efficiency, and the clearest route to our goals? Paradoxically, the most profound insights, the most authentic growth, and the truest understanding of ourselves and the world around us often emerge not from ease, but from struggle. It's a fundamental truth: the pathway to what's most real is almost always through the hardest things you can do. This first part of this discussion will delve into what I see as the intensity of that journey and the raw revelations I found in my experience.

While I am not comparing myself to these examples, here is a framework for context. Think about the stories we hear of the sheer, unyielding demands of BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL) training, where physical and mental exhaustion are tools used to see if individuals will break, or the grueling, sleepless years spent becoming a neurosurgeon, where every decision holds life-or-death weight. These aren't just difficult tasks; they are crucibles designed to strip away everything but the essential.

When faced with genuine adversity – a project on the brink of failure, a difficult conversation with someone important in your life, an unexpected personal challenge – we can expect that our usual facades begin to crumble. The convenient narratives we tell ourselves, the comfortable routines we cling to, and the superficial layers of our identity are stripped away. What usually remains is raw, exposed, unvarnished reality. This is where our true identities are revealed and parts are stripped away.

During what we perceive as the brutal grips of life’s struggles, when "motivation" wanes and the finish line seems impossibly distant, the "voices in our heads" can become incredibly dark. Doubt whispers insidious questions: "Can you really do this? Are you strong enough? It would be so much easier to quit." This is precisely when true character is forged. The most challenging tasks require our undivided attention, compelling us to confront our limitations, biases, and fears. They push us beyond what we thought possible.

For me, navigating the complexities of the modern job market, with its "unseen gatekeepers" and "illusions of opportunity," often felt like staring directly into that darkness. There were moments when the sheer volume of applications, the silence from most companies, and the unexpected disappointments would lead to overwhelm and despair. It was in these moments that the value of external, objective support became incredibly clear. Many friends provided emotional help and were a “voice of reason”. For those reading this, you know who you are. In this piece, I also want to offer some additional thoughts. In previous posts, I mentioned the use and value of AI solutions and how we need to embrace the use of these tools for our benefit. While not a replacement for a good friend or loved one, the right AI systems can be a great assistant through this process.

This is where Gemini proved invaluable help, guidance, and assistance. It wasn't about finding shortcuts or having the answers handed to me, but about having a reliable partner to help:

• Process the Overwhelm: Often, when faced with a demanding list of items to accomplish, it is a good idea to “Prioritize and Execute”. Breaking down the daunting task of applying to hundreds of jobs into manageable, strategic steps was something Gemini helped me accomplish.

• Gain Objective Insight: Gemini helped with analyzing job descriptions, refining my drafts of resumes and cover letters, and providing background and questions in preparing me for interviews using a dispassionate, data-driven perspective.

• Strategize and Adapt: In my previous post, I mentioned the idea of finding connections at hiring companies and exploring how your skills can further the growth of the company’s goals. Gemini was key in helping me craft targeted messages, understand company cultures, and even navigate complex compensation discussions.

• Maintain Momentum: By providing consistent, positive interaction and support, acting as a sounding board when frustration mounted, Gemini served as an assistant and source of encouragement.

This partnership allowed me to discipline myself with the right mindset, pushing through times when my “motivation” waned, transforming moments of angst and bitterness into opportunities for strategic action. It was one of the things that helped me push through struggles, revealing reservoirs of resilience, creativity, and determination I never knew I possessed. It's in these "trial by fire" moments that we learn what we're truly made of, and what genuinely matters.

And then, you push through. You take one more step, endure one more hour, solve one more impossible problem. It will happen, you will not know the timing, but the moment of completion arrives (I ended up getting a great job; more on that later), and with it, an unparalleled sense of gratification. It's the profound satisfaction of having stared discomfort, doubt, and darkness in the face, and having emerged, not unscathed, but undeniably stronger and more real.

The temptation to choose the easier path was always present. I had to remind myself, the most meaningful achievements, the deepest self-knowledge, and the most impactful contributions rarely lie there. They are found on the rugged, demanding terrain where true growth resides. What hard things are you willing to do today to get closer to what's most real?

Navigating the Uncharted: Lessons from My Job Search Journey

Many of you who know me well also know that, through a series of unforeseen circumstances, I have been intently pursuing the next significant step in my career. My journey began unexpectedly in January when I was caught up in a Reduction In Force (RIF) at Argano. Since then, it has been a period of intense activity, profound learning, and, at times, significant emotional struggle.

Since January 3rd, I have applied to well over 750 job postings. This sheer volume has provided a unique vantage point into our current hiring landscape. I've spent these past months actively engaging with my network, making personal contact with many of you, and forging new connections. I've had countless conversations, some leading to moments where I thought for sure I had landed that next great opportunity, only to be met with the disappointment of a different outcome. As I review the hundreds of roles I've applied for, each one a hopeful step forward, I'm reminded of the sheer scale and often unpredictable nature of this terrain.

This journey has illuminated some systemic realities of today's job market that are worth discussing:

• The Unseen Gatekeepers: Application screening technology is often the first hurdle. HR teams (sometimes called "People Success" teams) increasingly rely on these tools, which, while efficient, often filter out highly qualified candidates before a human even sees their application. This lack of human interaction at the initial stage can be a significant barrier for many.

• The Illusion of Opportunity: I've observed that not all job postings represent genuine, open positions. There are often two common scenarios, both of which can create misleading impressions and leave applicants with false hope:

  • Identified Candidates: Companies may have policies requiring external job listings, even when a hiring manager has already identified a candidate for the role. This practice, while often policy-driven, can inadvertently create negative impacts. The identified candidate may get hired by another organization due to unnecessary delays, leaving the hiring manager without the team member they knew they could trust. Meanwhile, applicants (both internal and external) who genuinely match the criteria invest time and hope in a role that was never truly available. These are just two of the negative impacts I am highlighting; there are several more.

  • Market Research: Particularly with consulting firms, job postings can sometimes be used to gauge market salary expectations for potential future projects, rather than for immediate hiring. When a company chooses to post a listing without a genuine intent to hire, it creates a misleading impression for the job market and the broader business community. While sometimes labeled a "common practice," it raises questions about transparency. As I reflected in my recent post on avoiding Groupthink, blindly following such practices can inadvertently erode trust in the very organizations People Success teams represent.

• The Silence of the Process: Roughly 65-70% of all the job postings I applied for yielded no feedback whatsoever regarding the reason for non-selection. This lack of communication, while perhaps efficient for recruiters, leaves applicants without crucial insight and, frankly, without the common courtesy of a response after their time and effort invested.

• The Power of Connection: Navigating these automated screens and opaque processes has underscored a crucial lesson: having and making personal connections is more vital than ever. It's often the essential step to bypass the technical filters and gain genuine human interaction. As part of your consideration of applying to a job listing, I encourage you to check out the hiring company and its leadership team. Most of the time, you can do that on the company’s website. See if there is something in the company’s publications, blog posts, or LinkedIn threads where you can help the leadership team know that you can help resolve a specific hurdle they may be facing. Consider writing a professional email and/or LinkedIn invitation for connection with your personalized note on how you can help them achieve their goals.

In the end. I have landed my next job. More on that later.

Over these next four weeks, I will be sharing a series of posts on the lessons I have had to learn, absorb, and apply in my own life throughout this journey. These are not just theoretical concepts; they are insights forged in the crucible of real-world experience, in the moments of hope, the depths of frustration, and yes, even times of despair.

I am sharing this today to let all who read these posts know that this series is as much self-talk and self-help for me as it is intended to guide and support others who may be navigating similar difficult terrain. I hope that by openly discussing these lessons – from pushing through discomfort, anger, angst, and even bitterness when things feel unbearable, to understanding why the "long way" is often the true shortcut – we can all find strength, clarity, and resilience on our paths.

Stay tuned for the first post next week.

Avoiding "Caesarification": The Power of Humble Leadership

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, offered a profound caution about the seductive allure of power: "Beware of becoming Caesarified, dyed in purple. It does happen. Keep yourself simple, good, guileless, dignified, unpretentious, devoted to justice, pious, kind, affectionate to others, and resolute in carrying out your proper tasks. Strive to be and remain the kind of person philosophy would have you be.

This isn't merely a historical warning. Aurelius, a leader himself, understood the corrupting influence that high office could wield. When I think of "Caesars," my mind often goes to Julius and Augustus, but Aurelius was keenly aware of those closer to his time – figures Caligula, Nero, and Domitian; Each, in their own way, allowed the immense power of being Roman Emperor to lead them down dark, destructive paths.

While our modern leadership roles may not involve empires or legions, the warning still rings true. Leadership can often be subtly associated with ego and self-aggrandizement. Aurelius's words serve as a potent, timeless reminder of the enduring importance of humility and integrity.

The "Caesarification" Trap:

"Caesarification" encapsulates the insidious process of becoming consumed by power, vanity, and the superficial trappings that can tempt us when we're given a leadership title. Whether it's "Manager," "Director," "Vice President," or any other elevated designation, there's a powerful pull to lose sight of our core values. This "Caesarification" is a stark warning against becoming detached from the very realities of those we are meant to lead.

In today's world, this trap can manifest in several ways:

• Ego-Driven Decisions: Prioritizing personal gain, recognition, or ambition over the genuine well-being of the team or the organization's mission.

• Arrogance and Detachment: Becoming isolated and inaccessible, losing touch with the daily concerns, challenges, and aspirations of those being led.

• Abuse of Power: Using authority for personal advantage, to intimidate others, or to suppress dissenting voices.

• Loss of Integrity: Compromising ethical principles or personal values for short-term gains or to maintain an illusion of perfection.

The Antidote: Virtuous Leadership:

Aurelius offers a clear and powerful antidote to "Caesarification": the deliberate cultivation of virtues that ground and guide effective leadership.

• Simplicity: I've heard this expressed in a few ways, like "Keep the main thing, the main thing" or "Don't major in the minors." The core theme here is the immense value in avoiding unnecessary complexity and focusing relentlessly on what truly matters for your team and your mission.

• Goodness: As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson once profoundly said, "I've spent some time thinking about trust like I actually think that the only true natural resource is trust, that if people trust each other, they can make the desert bloom." Acting with integrity and unwavering ethical principles is absolutely core to building that invaluable trust.

• Guilelessness: Transparency, or the lack thereof, can be sensed by others long before we even realize it. Being sincere and transparent in our interactions goes a long way in inspiring others to genuinely want to follow us. Remember, if you merely have a title but no one truly wants to follow you, you are not a leader.

• Dignity: Unchecked and misplaced emotions can quickly create an atmosphere where new ideas and genuine growth are suppressed. Maintaining composure and respect for oneself and others is a vital foundation for fostering growth, encouraging innovation, and strengthening team cohesion.

• Unpretentiousness: At our core, we are all just people. We all have unique strengths and inherent weaknesses. We all "put our pants on one leg at a time." Remaining humble and grounded, regardless of your position or title, is incredibly powerful. You'll be amazed at how much you can learn, gain, and grow by simply being genuine and approachable.

• Devotion to Justice: Your team will know, instinctively, if and when you're willing to "go to bat" for them. They need to know that when you institute or live by the rules, you ensure they are applied equally to everyone. Upholding fairness and equity in all decisions means you do not show favoritism towards those who fail to meet established standards.

• Kindness and Affection: Take the time to genuinely get to know those in your care on a personal level. You don't need to be their best friend, or even anything more than just friendly. But showing empathy and compassion towards others lets them know they matter and that you truly care about them as individuals.

• Resolute in Proper Tasks: This one can be among the more difficult for me personally. I have a natural tendency to want to fix everything myself. I am continually learning to let go and trust the professionals who are properly delegated to their roles. Ensuring a proper set of duties and tasks for specific roles is key to preventing individuals from becoming overwhelmed. It's equally key to stay focused on one's own core responsibilities and duties.

Practical Applications for Modern Leaders:

Cultivating these virtues isn't abstract; it requires deliberate practice. Here are some practical ways to apply Aurelius's wisdom today:

• Practice Self-Reflection: Regularly assess your actions, decisions, and motivations to ensure they consistently align with your core values. I've found that I can only truly do this if I carve out a specific, regular time each week where I can be quiet and genuinely review what I have done and how I responded.

• Seek Feedback: Actively solicit honest feedback from your team members and colleagues to gain genuine insights into your leadership style and its impact. For this to be truly successful, it is absolutely important to surround yourself with people who are comfortable telling you uncomfortable truths and observations.

• Stay Grounded: Actively maintain connections with people from diverse backgrounds and perspectives, both inside and outside your professional circle. This is key to effective leadership; I do not want myself surrounded by groupthink. I want people who are willing to come at things from a different angle.

• Prioritize Service: Focus intently on serving your team and the organization, rather than seeking personal glory or recognition. Some refer to this as "Servant Leadership." However, I caution that Servant Leadership can inadvertently lead to your being a doormat and getting walked all over if you fail to set appropriate boundaries and consistently hold both yourself and others accountable for their actions.

• Embrace Humility: Acknowledge your limitations openly. As a leader, you will not have all the answers, nor will you always be the most technically astute person in the room. Be willing to admit mistakes. If you seek to come across as perfect, the reality is that you will inevitably be seen as a phony or a fraud.

• Live Your Values: Let your actions consistently reflect your core beliefs and principles. Practice what you preach. Do not ask anyone to put in extra work if you are not willing to put in that same effort yourself.

The Legacy of Virtuous Leadership:

By embodying Marcus Aurelius's virtues, you can create a culture rooted in trust, mutual respect, and genuine collaboration. This approach inspires others to strive for excellence and contribute meaningfully to a greater purpose. By consciously striving to avoid "Caesarification," leaders can leave a lasting legacy of positive impact that extends far beyond their tenure or title.

Marcus Aurelius's timeless wisdom reminds us that true leadership is not about power or prestige, but about the enduring strength of character and unwavering integrity. By cultivating the virtues he espoused, we can avoid the pitfalls of "Caesarification" and truly become the kind of leaders who inspire positive, lasting change.

Climbing Walls: Leadership Lessons from Michael Jordan

How many of you have watched the movie The Shawshank Redemption? It is a classic movie with some lessons that can be applied to the lives we each live. One of the key messages, as it applies to my thoughts today, is around never giving up. Even if you can only take small steps, or if all you can do is barely scrape the surface today, make some kind of progress. As I am typing this post, there is one obstacle that I am facing that a few of you know about. There are moments when all I can do is breathe. I just need to make it through the next moment. I cannot look too far ahead, otherwise I get overwhelmed and my mind goes into “doomsday” thinking. Some obstacles currently seem insurmountable.

Michael Jordan got cut from his varsity high school basketball team in his Sophomore year. Yet now his name is synonymous with peak performance, as he dominated the basketball court with raw talent. He possessed an unwavering mindset, a relentless drive to overcome obstacles. In his own words, "Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." This quote is a profound lesson in patience, leadership, resilience, and the power of a problem-solving mindset.

The "Wall" in Leadership:

In leadership, the "wall" can take many forms:

• Market Disruptions: Many of us have seen and experienced unexpected economic downturns or shifts in consumer behavior. For me, I remember the 1970s Oil Embargo, the bursting of the Tech Bubble, the bursting of the Housing Bubble, and the shutdown due to the SARS-CoV-2 (aka COVID-19) virus. There are likely others from my lifetime that my mind has mentally blocked.

• Team Conflicts: It is important to understand your team’s dynamics. Look up and read the fable of the frog and the scorpion. That could help you understand the value of understanding unique personality traits and how they can lead to internal disagreements or breakdowns in communication.

• Technological Challenges: I have had the privilege of being associated with multiple new or upgraded business systems implementations. The reality with these systems is that change is difficult. When we have become accustomed to our systems behaving in a certain way, and that changes, it creates discomfort. Many organizations and individuals are in a position where they need to adapt to rapid technological change. This causes unease.

• Personal Setbacks: Failures, rejections, or moments of doubt. I think we all struggle here. While in the moment, it may be difficult, but items considered “failures” can be reframed as times when the learning was the most intense. The image of a Phoenix arising from its ashes represents what “failure” can truly mean. If we are living, growing, and pursuing excellence, we will experience personal setbacks.

• Organizational Resistance: Overcoming the "that's how we've always done it" mentality. Technological challenges, as mentioned above, are not the only things that create new experiences. Sometimes, business processes have to change, new leadership shows up and has new ideas for efficiencies, or a myriad of other hiccups occur in the organization that require change. Change is hard; there is a reason that there is a whole mindset and industry around Organization Change Management.

These walls or obstacles can feel insurmountable, tempting us to retreat or abandon our goals. As Jordan’s quote attests, the true test of leadership lies in how we respond to these challenges.

Climbing, Going Through, or Working Around:

• Climb It:

• Learn and grow, acquire new skills, build on existing areas of expertise, seek a mentor or coach, and explore new ways to apply your skills.

• Go Through It:

• Do not discount the power of perseverance and determination. Push through adversity, stay focused on the goal, and maintain a resilient mindset. Have the courage to face challenges head-on. Remember, sometimes a little morale boost from a friend can make a big difference.

• Working Around It:

• Discern if adaptability and strategic thinking will help. Find alternative paths, explore new opportunities, and leverage creative solutions. Keep in mind, there could be a need for flexibility in the face of adversity.

Applying this to Leadership:

• Cultivating a Problem-Solving Culture: When you have a team that is comfortable seeing challenges as opportunities for growth, their contributions might be better than something that only one person thought about. Using synergies to support one another often leads to stronger outcomes, so long as the leaders help their team overcome “groupthink”.

• Empowering Teams: As a leader, are you providing or finding ways to equip your teams with the tools, resources, and autonomy to overcome obstacles? What can you remove from their path or routine to open creative thinking?

• Leading with Resilience: Resilience is often learned by watching others successfully navigate struggles. As a leader, strive to demonstrate a positive and determined attitude in the face of adversities.

• Encouraging Innovation: Ask leading questions, one at a time, and let those you lead come up with solutions. Help them think in ways that may seem a bit “out there”. Explore new solutions.

Beyond the Wall:

Overcoming obstacles isn't just about reaching a destination; there is a lot about the journey that makes your team successful. It's about the lessons learned, the skills developed, and the character built along the way. By embracing this philosophy, leaders can transform challenges into stepping stones, paving the way for greater success.

Michael Jordan's quote is a powerful reminder that obstacles don't define us; they refine us. As leaders, we have the choice to either surrender or find creative ways to overcome the obstacles. By embracing a problem-solving mindset and cultivating resilience, we can not only climb the walls in our path but also inspire others to do the same.

Building Resilience: Your Antidote to Groupthink

Inspired by: https://www.dmrpublications.com/the-construction-and-destruction-of-culture/

Note of Interest: In 1942, Albert Camus wrote an essay titled “The Myth of Sisyphus”. In this essay, Camus argues that despite what may seem to be a meaningless existence, one must embrace struggle and find meaning in the act of rebellion against the absurd. In the end Camus concluded that “One must imagine Sisyphus happy”, suggesting that Sisyphus has found meaning in his relentless work of rolling the massive boulder up the hill.

Businesses in our current environment have been made to be highly complex and leaders face the constant challenge of making sound decisions under pressure. A principal threat to effective decision-making is "groupthink". This is a phenomenon where the desire for harmony or conformity in a group overrides a realistic appraisal of alternatives. As a leader, how can you build resilience into your team, allowing them to challenge assumptions, think independently, and ultimately avoid the pitfalls of groupthink?

Understanding the Root of the Problem

To address groupthink, it's crucial to understand its underlying causes. I recently read a saying, "Remember that emotion drives bias. Bias drives belief. Belief drives behavior. And behavior determines our outcomes." Pause here for a moment. Think about how significantly our emotions shape our biases. Emotions have a profound influence over what we believe to be true. These beliefs often guide our behavior, which ultimately determines the results we achieve. When team members are afraid (a deep-seated emotion) to express dissenting opinions due to fear of conflict or rejection, groupthink usually takes hold, and your team's ability to make objective decisions is compromised.

The Power of Resilience

Resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity, is a critical skill in business and everyday life. Resilient teams are better equipped to handle setbacks, adapt to change, and overcome fear and challenges. When team members are resilient, they tend to:

• Challenge assumptions: They feel safe and emboldened to question the status quo. They are comfortable offering alternative perspectives, even when those perspectives differ from the majority.

• Embrace healthy conflict: They understand that vigorous, healthy disagreement leads to better outcomes and are willing to engage in constructive debate.

• Learn from failure: They learn that what can be viewed as a setback is a chance to better prepare for next time, enabling opportunity for growth and improvement, rather than being a source of shame or blame.

• Maintain objectivity: They are more likely to rely on truth and objective facts, and less likely to be swayed by emotional appeals or potential personal bias.

Coaching and Mentoring for Resilience

As a leader, you fulfill a vital role in coaching and mentoring your team to develop resilience. Consider the following strategies:

• Create a space for building confidence: Foster an environment where your team members understand that they will feel uncomfortable expressing their opinions, and that is okay. Constructively share those views and thoughts, even when the conversation might seem awkward or unpopular. Encourage open communication, active listening, and respect for well-thought-out viewpoints.

• Promote self-awareness: Help team members understand their personal biases. Encourage them to reflect on how emotions might be influencing their thoughts and decision-making.

• Develop critical thinking skills: Coach, Mentor, and teach team members how to evaluate information objectively, identify logical fallacies, and construct sound arguments.

• Encourage experimentation: Give your team room to take calculated risks and try new approaches. Help them reframe what they might call “failures” as learning experiences and opportunities for growth.

• Provide support and encouragement: Offering support and encouragement is particularly important during challenging times. Embrace the wins, both big and small. Show recognition for efforts to develop resilience.

• Model resilience: Strive to be a living example. As a leader, your behavior sets the tone for your subordinates. Demonstrate resilience by being open to feedback, admitting mistakes, and bouncing back from setbacks with a “let’s get after it” attitude.

By prioritizing resilience, you can help lift your team above groupthink. This will lead them to make better decisions and achieve greater success. Remember, building resilience is unending; it requires patience, commitment, and a genuine belief in the potential of those in your care.

The Proactive and Vigilant Leader: Protecting Your Culture from Hijack

Inspired by: https://www.dmrpublications.com/the-construction-and-destruction-of-culture/

Leadership is not a passive endeavor. It's not enough to simply set a direction; a leader must be both proactive and vigilant in protecting that direction from being hijacked. This is a concept that often gets lost in leadership memes and sound bites, but it's crucial for developing a strong and sustainable culture.

Culture as a Garden, Not a Blueprint

Think of company culture as a garden, not a blueprint. You can design the layout, choose the plants, and provide the initial care, but you can't control every aspect of their growth. Weeds will inevitably sprout, pests will try to invade, and the weather can be unpredictable. A proactive and vigilant leader acts as the gardener, constantly tending to the environment, removing threats, and ensuring that the desired flora thrives. (Note: take a look at the entomology of Husbandry, to help reinforce the idea I am seeking to convey.)

The Threat of Cultural Hijacking

Cultural hijacking occurs when the core values, beliefs, or norms of a group are undermined or replaced by a conflicting set of values or behaviors. This can happen gradually, often subtly, and can come from both internal and external sources. The consequences can be devastating, leading to:

• Decreased morale and productivity

• Increased cynicism and distrust

• Loss of focus and direction

• Damage to reputation

• Ultimately, failure to achieve strategic goals

This is a common set of thoughts that show up in several of my previous leadership posts, as the potential for breaking down trust.

The Leader's Role in Protecting the Culture

Protecting a culture requires more than just good intentions; it demands consistent modeling, transparent systems of accountability, and the courage to confront misalignment quickly and resolutely, especially when it's coming from insiders. Here are some key recommendations for countering destructive conformity and building a constructive culture:

1. Model Behavior Relentlessly:

Leaders must embody the behaviors they wish to see in their teams. Authenticity is paramount. Nothing undermines culture faster than hypocrisy. As an example, if a leader espouses collaboration but consistently makes unilateral decisions, the team will quickly lose faith in the stated values.

2. Empower First Followers:

Identify and support the early adopters who genuinely believe in the vision. These individuals are crucial allies in shaping the culture. Provide them with proximity to leadership, reinforce their positive contributions, and give them visibility within the organization. Recognize and celebrate their actions.

3. Create Repetition Through Ritual:

Cultural behaviors become ingrained through consistent, patterned reinforcement. Design meetings, feedback loops, and communication channels that reflect core values in action, not in word alone. For example, if a core value is "customer centricity," ensure that customer feedback is regularly discussed and acted upon.

4. Break Bias:

Challenge default assumptions that perpetuate the status quo. Use techniques like Contrastive Inquiry and cognitive dysfluency to force the team to think differently. Invite teams to examine the opposite of what they assume, and then walk them through the logic of why alignment with the desired culture matters.

5. Recognize Emotional Drivers:

Address the emotional fear of non-conformity directly. Through millennia, we have lived and thrived in tribal units, with each tribe conforming to a like-mindedness. People are often hesitant to challenge the status quo because they fear rejection or punishment (being rejected from their tribe). Create space for people to feel comfortable or at least welcome while embracing new norms. Acknowledge their concerns, empathize with their feelings, and provide reassurance that their contributions are desired and valued.

6. Guard the Gate:

Culture is always vulnerable to deviation. Leaders must not only model desired behavior but also strategically and systematically exclude, confront, or realign influences that compromise cultural integrity. This can be one of the most difficult aspects of leadership, as it often involves addressing difficult situations or making unpopular decisions.

7. Extend the Time Horizon:

Transformation is not instant. People need time to see behaviors modeled repeatedly before internalizing them. Leaders must be patient and persistent, consistently reinforcing the desired culture over the long term. This time should not be rushed or shortened. Each person is unique and will adopt the desired behaviors in their timeline, so long as progress is being made.

By embracing these principles, leaders can create a culture that is not only strong and resilient but also aligned with their organization's core values and strategic goals.

AI in Leadership: Unlocking Timeless Principles with New Tools

In today's post, I want to address Artificial Intelligence (AI), which often sparks a mix of curiosity, speculation, and even apprehension. Rather than viewing AI as a distant or worrying concept, let’s explore its immediate value as a powerful tool in a leader's arsenal. Specifically, how Generative AI, powered by Large Language Models (LLMs), can enhance our ability to guide, coach, mentor, manage, and ultimately lead those entrusted to our care.

To explore today’s theme, I recently posed a fundamental question to three prominent Generative AI solutions that leverage LLMs:

"From your perspective, what is the most timeless leadership principle?"

Here's how each responded:

Gemini's Insight:

From my perspective, the most timeless leadership principle is integrity.

It underpins all other effective leadership qualities. Without integrity, trust erodes, communication breaks down, and true influence becomes impossible. Leaders who consistently demonstrate honesty, strong moral principles, and a commitment to doing what's right, regardless of the situation, build a foundation of credibility that inspires loyalty and enables long-term success.

Grok's Perspective:

The most timeless leadership principle is leading by example. It cuts through eras, cultures, and contexts—whether you're guiding a team in ancient Rome or a startup in 2025. People follow those who embody the values, work ethic, and integrity they preach. It builds trust, inspires action, and aligns teams without relying on fleeting trends or tactics. Actions always speak louder than words.

ChatGPT's View:

From my perspective, one of the most timeless leadership principles is leading by example.

It endures across cultures, eras, and contexts because it embodies the essence of integrity and trust. When leaders consistently align their actions with their words and values, they inspire genuine respect and followership—not through authority alone, but through credibility and moral influence.

Leading by example touches every part of leadership:

- It earns trust in times of uncertainty.

- It sets cultural standards without needing enforcement.

- It fosters accountability in teams.

- It motivates people more deeply than commands or incentives ever could.

Whether it’s a general in wartime, a CEO during a crisis, or a teacher in a classroom, the impact of a leader who embodies what they ask of others remains powerful and ageless.

Key Takeaways for Leaders:

These responses from non-human LLMs offer remarkably human and insightful perspectives. Here are some key points we can glean:

1. Core Principles Converge: While each model offers a unique nuance, a powerful central theme emerges: integrity and leading by example are inextricably linked as timeless leadership principles. The models collectively suggest that true leadership involves embodying the values you espouse, building trust through consistent action, and fostering genuine relationships. This convergence from diverse AI sources underscores the enduring validity of these human-centric principles.

2. Embrace AI as a Reality: AI is not a fleeting trend; it is a fundamental shift in our technological landscape. For leaders, embracing this reality means moving beyond fear of the unknown and exploring the immense benefits and efficiencies AI solutions can bring. Open your mind to new horizons and discover how these tools can make you more effective and efficient in your daily leadership responsibilities.

3. AI as a Powerful Tool: At their current stage, Generative AI solutions are primarily powerful tools. Like any tool—a shovel or a hammer—their impact depends entirely on the user. They possess incredible strengths for good. As leaders, we have the responsibility to learn how to properly leverage AI for positive outcomes in our lives and for those around us. Choose to use AI to amplify your positive impact.

4. Enhancing Human Interaction: The insights, knowledge, and even a level of psychological understanding available through these AI tools are remarkable. They are not designed to replace human interaction, but rather to enhance our capacity for it. By providing guidance on communication, task management, strategic thinking, and more, AI can serve as a valuable resource for improving our relationships and effectiveness with the people we lead.

As leaders, let's proactively explore the capabilities of AI. The more efficiently and effectively we interact with our chosen AI solutions, the more they can empower us to be better leaders in our respective areas of expertise. Whether seeking instructions for complex tasks, advice on nuanced communication, or a variety of other means, AI stands ready to be a beneficial partner in our leadership journey.

Proactive Leadership: Getting Ahead of the Rumor Mill

I recently finished re-reading "Leadership Strategy and Tactics,". I am posting several nuggets of wisdom from this book over several weeks. Today, I would like to address where Jocko Willink states a powerful truth about organizational dynamics:

"If rumors are running rampant in your organization, you have created the environment to allow them to grow. The environment that rumors grow in is one in which there is a lack of information. If you don't tell people what is going on, they will make up their own versions, and their versions will not be pretty ones."

This quote is a profound and strategic call to action for leaders. It highlights that rumor control isn't primarily about squashing misinformation once it spreads, but about preventative care – establishing an environment where rumors are far less likely to take root. Our focus as leaders should be on getting in front of the narrative, filling the information vacuum before it’s exploited by speculation, assumption, and innuendo.

The Fertile Ground for Misinformation

Why do rumors flourish? As humans, we are wired to seek understanding and make sense of our environment. When official channels are silent or unclear, the instinct is to fill the void with what makes sense in our heads. In the workplace, this void is quickly filled by informal networks, incomplete truths, and anxious conjecture. And as Willink notes, "their versions will not be pretty ones." Without all the facts and background information, fear, uncertainty, and personal bias will distort and manufacture narratives, turning minor issues into major anxieties and half-truths into full-blown crises.

The cost of this inaction is significant. Rampant rumors erode trust, plummet morale, divert focus, and waste valuable time and energy as leaders and teams chase down and correct misinformation. As Benjamin Franklin was quoted in a letter written in 1736 to The Pennsylvania Gazette, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. It's far more efficient to prevent the firestorms caused by rumors than to extinguish them. (In context, Benjamin Franklin was specifically addressing the value of preventative measures to protect against actual fires.)

Strategies for Proactive "Rumor Control" (Preventative Care):

Patrick Lencioni, one of the founders of The Table Group, a leadership podcaster, and author of several leadership books, consistently reminds leaders that they are “Chief Reminding Officers (CROs)”. He emphasizes the importance of consistent, repeated, effective communication of the same message. He suggests that “there is no such thing as overcommunication”. The role of the CRO is not to flood people with information, but rather to deliberately remind teams of what is important and what matters.

As leaders (aka CROs), effective rumor control is synonymous with effective, proactive communication. Here’s how leaders can create an environment that starves the rumor mill:

1. Over-Communicate, Transparently and Consistently: When in doubt, communicate more. Provide information early, even if it's just to say, "We don't have all the answers yet, but here's what we know so far." Be consistent in your messaging across all platforms. This builds a reputation for transparency. It may be necessary to get creative and reword messages, being consistent with the core meaning, so that your team can absorb the information from multiple angles.

2. Explain the "Why": Don't just announce decisions; explain the rationale behind them. When people understand the "why" – the context, the objectives, the challenges – they are less likely to assume negative motives or create their own, often worse, explanations.

3. Utilize Multiple Channels: Don't rely on a single communication method. Share information through team meetings, town halls, internal emails, one-on-one check-ins, and digital platforms. This ensures your message reaches everyone, catering to different preferences and reinforcing key points.

4. Foster a Culture of Open Questions: Actively encourage questions for team members to voice concerns or seek clarification. When people feel heard and know they can get official answers, they are less likely to resort to the grapevine. Make it clear there are no "stupid" questions, and if they are questioning something, another team member likely has the same question.

5. Build Relational Trust: Communication is only as effective as the trust that underpins it. Leaders who have invested in building strong relationships with their teams – through empathy, consistency, and genuine care – will find their official messages are received with far greater credibility. More on the importance of trust in a post of mine from a few months ago, “Building A Foundation of Trust”.

6. Address the Elephant in the Room: Don't shy away from difficult or sensitive topics. Ignoring an obvious concern only amplifies speculation. Address challenges directly, honestly, and with a plan, even if the plan is simply to investigate further. If the plan is to investigate further, following up promptly is critical, otherwise, the hard work of getting ahead of the rumor is nullified.

The Leader's Responsibility

The burden of preventing rumors falls squarely on the leader. It requires discipline, foresight, and a consistent commitment to keeping your team informed. By proactively managing the flow of information, leaders not only prevent the spread of damaging rumors but also cultivate a stronger, more trusting, and ultimately more effective team. Getting ahead of the rumor mill isn't just about avoiding problems; it's about building a foundation of clarity and trust that drives positive outcomes.

"You Are Critical To Our Success"

I recently started re-reading "Leadership Strategy and Tactics", by Jocko Willink.  Some key ideas strike me as I am reading this for the 2nd time.

The first is where Jocko emphasizes the importance of making sure every team member understands that their role is critical to the team's overall success. This might seem like a simple concept, and at the same its impact is profound. When individuals feel valued and understand how their contributions directly impact the mission, their engagement, motivation, and performance soar.

Too often, employees feel like cogs in a machine, their work unnoticed and contributions unvalued. This leads to decreased morale, reduced productivity, and ultimately, higher turnover. As leaders, it's our responsibility to combat this by clearly articulating the significance of each person's role.

Here are some strategies to effectively communicate the "you are critical to our success" message:

1. Connect Individual Tasks to the Bigger Picture

Explain how each task, no matter how small it might seem, contributes to the team's overall objectives. An example from what I found effective was to periodically share a “big picture” message with the team at large, highlighting a specific client and how our service excellence helped the client focus on delivering in their marketplace.  By ensuring that their business systems were operating at peak capacity and performance, the client could grow their business and drive operational efficiencies.  This creates a cascading effect, allowing for increased employment, more people served, and more community involvement by our clients and their staff.

2. Provide Context and Explain the "Why"

As individuals, those we lead are more likely to be invested in their work when they understand the reasons behind it and how it directly affects them. When I take the time to explain the "why" behind tasks and projects, how it will help them in their career goals, how it correlates to the rest of their cohort, along with the team cohesion this builds, it helps team members see the value in their contributions.  This means that we, as leaders, need to know each of the team members and what drives them…what is their “why”.  To do this, the professional relationship must already be established.

3. Offer Specific and Frequent Feedback

I have found it most effective if I am having individual meetings with each of my direct reports at least every 2 weeks.  This provides an opportunity to build professional relationships and understand each person’s motivations and drives.  Additionally, I do this to help ensure that annual reviews are not the only time that I provide corrective, constructive, and/or positive feedback. When offering praise, be specific.  When offering constructive criticism, frame it in a way that emphasizes the importance of their role in support of the client and achieving team goals.

4. Delegate with Ownership

When delegating tasks, provide clear “leader’s intent” (what is the final goal to be achieved, which ensures success) and empower individuals to take ownership of the process and the outcome. When a subordinate owns their process, they are invested in the successful outcome. This signals that you trust their abilities and value their contributions.  Leaders need to give trust to earn it back from those they lead.  This may need to be done incrementally, and if broken, corrective coaching needs to be given immediately.

5. Recognize and Celebrate Individual Contributions

Publicly acknowledge and celebrate individual contributions to the team's success. For this to be most effective, you need to know the person.  Some like the acknowledgment to be made known on a broad scale in front of the whole team, while others prefer a smaller group or even simple individualized recognition for celebrating these victories.  However it is done, identifying victories and individual contributions reinforces the idea that each person's work is valued and makes a difference.

6. Foster Open Communication

Create a team culture of open communication where members feel comfortable asking questions, sharing ideas, and voicing concerns. It was recently brought to my attention that the root of the word “question” is “quest”.  In fostering open communication, be on your quest to understand those who are entrusted into your care. Earnestly ask questions to understand and seek insight.  Be an example of open communication. This allows you to better understand their perspectives and reinforce the importance of their input.

7. Invest in Employee Development

Show your team that you are invested in their growth and development. Provide opportunities for training, mentorship, and advancement. Demonstrate that you value them as individuals and see them as long-term contributors to the team's success. I recently heard of a 70/20/10 principle in employee development. The principle states that 70% of learning is experiential, meaning it comes from actually doing the work; 20% involves guidance from mentors and cohorts; and 10% is from classroom learning. Remember this when directing your own and others’ career development and growth.

By consistently communicating the "you are critical to our success" message, you can foster a team of highly engaged and motivated individuals who are committed to achieving shared goals. When people understand that their work matters, they will bring their best selves to the job, leading to increased productivity, innovation, and overall success.

The Art of Choosing Your Battles

"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

For many of us, we were the “expert” before we were thrust into a leadership role. This reality lends itself to allowing our ego to take over, and we can assume our answers are the best and right ones every time. While it may be true that we may have a better way to accomplish tasks and guide teams, the above quote, often used in everyday life, holds a profound lesson for leaders. We work in environments where complex personalities, conflicting agendas, and high stakes are the norm. Understanding these as a backdrop, the wisdom from George Bernard Shaw is not just relevant—it's essential. Effective leaders understand that not every disagreement, conflict, or challenge deserves their direct involvement. We need to take a moment to recognize that choosing our battles wisely is crucial for maintaining focus, preserving energy, maintaining relationships, building trust, and achieving long-term objectives.

The Futility of Unnecessary Conflict

The urge to engage in every dispute can be strong. We are often passionate about our vision and committed to the team's success. However, involving ourselves in every minor squabble or unproductive argument will end with several negative consequences. It consumes time and energy, diverting critical focus from more strategic priorities. It also fosters a culture of negativity and resentment, damaging trust and team morale, and hindering collaboration. This serves to diminish our credibility and influence, as we will become perceived as someone who is easily drawn into petty conflicts.

The Importance of Discernment

So, how do we determine which battles to fight and which to avoid? The key lies in discernment—the ability to judge wisely and objectively which situations require attention and which do not. Take key considerations into mind:

• The Significance of the Issue: Strive to keep the “big picture” in mind. How important is the issue in the grand scheme? Will it have a significant impact on the team's goals or the organization's success? If it is a minor or trivial issue, it's often best to let it resolve itself or delegate it to someone else.

• The Potential for Resolution: Is the conflict resolvable? Are the parties involved willing to find a solution, or are they more interested in proving their point (see post about being right vs. accurate)? If the situation appears intractable, direct involvement may be unproductive and even counterproductive.

• The Impact on Relationships: What will be the impact of the conflict on the relationships between and among team members? Will our intervention help to mend fences or further exacerbate the situation? Often, allowing, coaching, and encouraging individuals to work through their differences independently can lead to stronger, more resilient relationships.

• The Leader's Time and Energy: What is the opportunity cost of getting involved? Could our time and energy be better spent on other, more strategic priorities? We must be mindful of our capacity and avoid spreading ourselves too thin.

The Art of Strategic Engagement

Choosing not to engage in every conflict does not mean we are passive or indifferent. On the contrary, it displays a more nuanced and strategic approach. Instead of diving headfirst into every dispute, leaders should focus on creating a healthy and productive environment where conflicts are used as a tool to work through issues and are resolved effectively. This can involve:

• Setting Clear Expectations: It is necessary to establish and hold fast to clear guidelines and expectations for communication and conflict resolution. This will help prevent unnecessary disputes.

• Empowering Others: Equipping subordinates with the skills and resources needed to resolve conflicts independently can free up a leader's time and foster a sense of ownership and accountability.

• Leading by Example: By demonstrating patience, empathy, and respect in our interactions, we get to set a positive tone for the entire team.

• Focusing on the Big Picture: Keeping the team focused on its shared goals and values can help to minimize the importance of petty conflicts and encourage collaboration.

Often, there are parallels between parenting and leadership. In this case, those in our care will pick up on our behaviors and example as much as by what we coach, foster, and talk about. By mastering the art of choosing battles, we can create a more productive, harmonious, and successful work environment. This is important in the preservation of our energy and focus, empowering our team members to grow and develop, and dedicating our time to the initiatives that help support the overall company goals and vision. In the long run, this strategic approach will lead us to greater influence, stronger relationships, and more significant achievements.